“Vicarious Living": experiencing life/situations through another person or persons.
The word, VICARIOUS, sums up the last 16 months of my life. An adventure. A roller coaster. The UP's are fun; the DOWN's unsettling. Living as someone else; not me.
The roller coaster is starting to slow. The tumultuous curves and inclines have passed. The end of the ride. Feet back on the ground. Normalcy. Almost feeling myself again.
The past 16 months brought to life St. Elmo’s Fire. Remember the movie ?
group of friends
extramarital affair
infidelity
struggling with adulthood
mid-life crisises
ambition
A year ago, I experienced the excitement of an extramarital affair 'vicariously' thru a friend - the flower. Her life blossomed and became more colorful. The excitement and exhilaration of feeling beautiful and in the Spring of life again ... in love. She shared with me the details which engulfed me in the affair ... like a fire. surrounded ... smothered .... suffocated.
Infidelity blazed as duplicity: the contradictory double-ness of words; use of deceptive speech ... lies. Lies and withheld truth with a friend - for a friend, the flower - My choice ... my bad.
'Our Group,' throughout the year, the married became single, relationships changed and new personalities evolved from the ashes of former married selves. Ambitions. Collisions.
Time to bid farewell to vicarious living - to St Elmos' Fire - lives have been charred. I love the flower and always will for the laughter and the undying friendship.
St. Elmo's Fire is all but extinguished. It was an amazing ride - with amazing people, but the ride is almost over for me. Walk away from the fire ... step away from the heat ... back to the person and people and pleasures and place I am comfortable with.
Back to the person I was before the flames of vicariousness engulfed me.
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