Decisions made for me ...

It is "shutdown" week at the office ... 95% of the staff is off for a week. Sort of a "forced" week of vacation ~~ so refreshing. No need to try to select a "good time" for vacation - the decision is made for me. How Perfect !

I decided to spend my week, at least five days of it, purging my home of stuff.

Do I really need the volumes of Southern Living's Annual Cookbook that I diligently collected each December in the 1990's.... the ones I have not opened at anytime during the 21st century?

What about a collection of my sons' toys that have been safely tucked away for over a decade - never having been opened once .... oh .. but the sentimental value !

The twelve bottle collection of Elizabeth Taylor perfumes my husband bought for me that I never used ... or the mahogony octagon tray he made for me after we divorced...the jewelry he bought for me. Unused - untouched.

The untouched and unused are just that .. they are "things" .. memories will linger whether I have the "things" or not. The past won't change.

Just like my vacation. The decision has been made for me. "Time To Toss" And it is refreshing. How Perfect !

NOTE: A HALF HOUR AFTER WRITING POST ... another decision is made for me ...

I began arranging my cast-offs for a "final farewell foto" ~ that is until Duri came on the scene to share his opinion.

I believe Duri made another decision for me ... the tray is a keeper !! Ummm - not so perfect !!

Spike & Duri update ... no need for words

Detour ~ Wrong Number .... and then life just happened.

This post may seem like rambling ... but in the end ... it all comes together as if scripted.

Yesterday while running errands my "route" was rudely interrupted by a street roped off for a Block Party. I twisted and turned through unfamiliar neighborhoods until I got back on track. Umm .. must remind myself to use a different route on the way back.

Heading home - I remembered to take a detour. I drove past an old deteriorating steel mill. A dark depressing sight that eerily reminded me of a concentration camp. (Sorry - but that is exactly what images were conjured up)

Onward, I continued up the dismal road, rounded a slight curve, when suddenly my eyes were overwhelmed by color - a distinct, yet delightful contrast to the sights I had just passed. A Lime 'n Lilac building. It made me smile and feel happy. I promised myself I would return later in the day, with my camera, to snap a few pictures.

Once back home - I glanced at my to-do list. "Call Mom's neighbor to inquire about contractor." OKAY The answering machine picked up after three rings. I was midway leaving a message when a slightly out of breath woman picked up the phone. "Sorry - I heard the phone and ran in from outside ..."

I introduced myself and explained my mother lived around the corner from her on Teresa Street. "Where is Teresa Street ?" she replied. A bit confused, I said "At the bottom of Eva when you take the curve - it becomes Teresa. Don't you live on Eva Street ?" She laughed "No, but how can I help you ?"

I told her I was trying to get the name of a contractor and apologized for bothering her. She immediately started telling me about her "handyman" whom she adored and provided his contact information. I said "thank you"

She continued with her name and explained she was fairly new to the area .. told me where she lived. I was a bit unclear .. so she said "Would you be coming by way of Muddy's ?" I had no idea what or who Muddy's was and said "Coming from Latham." We chatted a bit more and I made a mental note to call her some day and invite her to coffee.

At 7PM, looking for one more excuse to put off mowing my lawn ... I grabbed the camera - put Spike in the car - and cranked up the stereo with music to match the mood induced by the quirky building from earlier in the day. I drove to the Lime 'n Lilac building - turned onto the side street so I could snap a few pictures ... the side of the building was so "fun." I noticed a little pull-off in front of the building and steered the car to it so I could get a few pictures of the building's front.


As I aimed and looked thru the view finder ... I stopped ... lowered the camera so I could get an unobstructed view of the building. The sign hanging above the door said "Muddy's" ... a name I had heard earlier in the day from a stranger.

UMM ....in one day .. within 7 hours ...

~ I was forced to take a detour

~ I came upon a delightful Lime 'n Lilac building

~ I called a wrong number and "met" a delightful stranger ...

~ Who mentioned "Muddy's"

~ I returned to the Lime 'n Lilac building to take pictures of it

~ And thru the lens of my camera, I discovered Muddy's AKA my Lime 'n Lilac building

~ One in the same.

I have always believed that "life just happens" .... but in the fairy tale world of Lime 'n Lilac buildings ...does it really?

One year ago today ...

The actual "one year" was yesterday, but I did not get the phone call until just after midnight.... I believe it was 12:11AM...on the 16th. "Hey Andrea...." I knew.

One year later ... Summer, Fall, Winter, Spring and now Summer again. The sun still rises every morning and the sun still sets every night. Birthdays and Graduations and Anniversaries and Births and Deaths and Illness. The world does not stop.

But the world did stop, in my heart, for one brief moment. In that moment, 12:11AM, I knew my life was forever changed. But the world does not stop for anyone.

It is not about the air conditioning ...

Phone rings. 6PM. "Bailey ripped open the duct on the central air when she was chasing after her ball. The house is about 91 degrees. I don't know anything about fixing AC."

"Why don't you call someone and ask for help."

"OKAY"

Three hours later.

"I fixed it. Lots of cold air blowing inside now. FEELS GREAT"

"Did you get help from anyone?"

"Nope - did it myself."

FEELS GREAT. I knew those words were not so much about the air conditioning. It was about accomplishing something. Alone. That which you were not sure you could do. But when it is all over and you look back, ....it FEELS GREAT

It is all about comfort ....

I have been gently prodded and pushed by someone to move outside my "comfort" zone. It is not "comfortable."

I looked to another person to tell me it is OK for me to stay right where I am and stay "comfortable." But she didn't ....

So I started making the rounds ... chatting with family, friends, and co-workers ... no one told me it was OK to stay comfortable, but what I did hear under all the words was "You have made up your mind "not to" and that is what is stopping you."

So - I changed my mind - and off I go... outside of my "comfortable" self.

I notice I am now finding my "comfort" in food these days ... but that is OK. I am embarking on a scary journey to grow and expand ... and if that temporarily includes my waistline ... that is OK. It is all part of the journey.

Thank you for the card ......

I received a card yesterday. It will have a home in my "drawer." (See post from Wednesday, June 3, 2009) The sender may never know how special it is to me .. but I do ..

Thank you

LESSON: Business 101 ... or Life 101

Fifteen years after the fact ... I can safely say that I learned about business in one day ... with one lesson ... from one person. It was harsh, but effective.

Fall of 1993. I had been offered the position of Personnel Manager of a new bank. Prior Experience: NONE The bank president, Roger and bank comptroller, Diane said "We would not have made the offer if we did not think you were capable of doing it." OK OK ... I accepted.

Those first few months found me frequently at the office until 9PM teaching myself the ropes. Writing an employee manual; preparing a benefits package; setting up payroll; employee files; ... I was starting from square one.

The day came when I was to present 3 proposed benefits packages to the President; VP; Internal Auditor; Comptroller and a host of "important" individuals.

I walked into the conference room - all present and seated - and started to pass out copies of my 10 page report - complete with graphs and charts - that I had worked on for weeks. After handing out less than 5 reports I heard the sound of paper slapping the huge conference table and Diane exclaiming "These figures are all wrong !!" This outburst was immediately followed by another slap of papers and Roger's voice "Go fix it ... we will wait."

Mortified, I left the room - scrambled down the stairs to my office - while mumbling "George Carlin's - Seven Words You Can Never Say On Tv" "Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, CockSucker, MotherFucker, and Tits" As I raced into my office - passing our elderly receptionist, Mary, she said "I sense something is wrong..." Rather than try to reply, I instead continued to quietly spew four letter expletives...

At my computer - I could barely see the screen, but instead saw in front of me the group of executives impatiently waiting in the room directly one floor above me. I reveiwed and changed and checked and double-checked my reports... all of which were now just a blur.

After about 5 minutes of mania, I stopped - took a breath - looked at my original report and realized there was nothing wrong with it ... nothing at all. I walked back upstairs - still shaken - entered the conference room - aware all eyes were on me. With a false calm, I said "All the numbers in this report are accurate." The meeting proceeded as if nothing had ever happened.

Later that day - I went into Diane's sprawling office where she sat behind her desk cooly watching me approach. I asked "Can you please tell me what that was all about ? You blurted that the figures were wrong before you had time to look at them."

Diane leaned forward and said "Do not let ANYONE cause you to doubt yourself. If you work hard, and have done your best, have confidence in your work and stand by it."

There was nothing apologetic in her voice or demeanor as she said "Is there anything else?"

I will forever be indebted to Diane who had confidence in my abilities even when I did not. Over the years, she took the time to teach me the brutality of the business world, of life ..

Diane, a woman many years my junior, a widow with two children.

This and all the other lessons I have never forgotten ... and they have served me well... in business and life. Thanks Diane .. wherever you are.

'Duri' also known as 'Spike II'

"The kitten" now has a name and I see a trend going on here. A coincidental trend ..

His name is Durian .. Duri for short. Thanks to the "Durian Guy."

I asked for his assistance to name the new resident of my household ... and he selected Durian. If you are thinking Durian Guy chose the name Durian so he would have a namesake ... you are mistaken.

My friend explained that Duri, in Malay, means spike or thorn. My dog is named Spike .. and hence .. with Duri as my kitten .... I now have two "Spikes" residing in my house.

My dear little Duri ... welcome my little "spike."

Projects & Priorities & Decisions

It is now Friday - July 10th - 9:47PM

I started this post ... walked away ... came back ... modified ... walked away... came back. Again I must modify. I know what I am thinking and I am very clear on my thoughts - but somehow making them "clear" on a page is difficult. I need to put my priorities in order - and although that is simple for me - this time - it is more complicated.

Different people - different priorities.

A friend and I were tossing thoughts - one thought became an idea - we acted on the idea - then the idea became more than a thought - suddenly it was a venture - the venture became a project - now the project has a "timeline" - the project and timeline require action. The project - which started as a thought - that became an idea - has ended up becoming a commitment. A commitment of time - a commitment of energy - a commitment of self. The commitment can reap rewards -

So one thought has suddenly become complicated. But I realize I must set my priorities - and my priorities are to just leave it as a thought an idea. Are the rewards worth the time - the energy - the commitment?

Is it true that other people can know you better than yourself ... ? Or - "To thine own self be true" ... and trust you know yourself?

Opinion Please !

I asked for your opinion ... which does not mean I will agree nor does it mean I will disagree. I am just looking to expand my views and thoughts. Possibly get a new perspective ... an idea I had not thought of.

When I ask your opinion - please give it. A simple request that costs you nothing. Do not turn it into a tug-of-war as if I asked for your favorite vase ....

Never mind. I will not ask you again ....

Three Day Weekend .. Day One

I just sat down .. the smell of Lullaby (lavender & vanilla) bath salts is filling the house from the hot bath I just drew. I am going to sink into it shortly. I ache .. lots of furniture moving today - But the bottle of Casa Larga - Lilac Hill Wine is helping. Light fruity white wine ... summery.

Today - I feel energized. Must be the new un-named kitten in the house. I had forgotten about "kitten energy" since my last kitten "Firecracker" .. appropriately named. A friend brought me a kitty condo - kitty dish and a couple of kitty toys .. HOW NICE !

Two emails in my mailbox ..
Phil - oh how I love to see his emails. He is who he is and I love him for it. Quiet and unpretentious .... gently talks about life as it is. Great friend.

The other email - another wonderful friend - hesitant to open this email. I am the impulsive one - she is the thinker. I am running with a thought we had - she is still pondering. Did I overwhelm with my "jump in with both feet" way of doing things? She challenges me ... what a gift !

Speaking of challenges - had a great "non-functioning" desktop computer - not used in 18 months due to remodel. I've been trying to get it to work for the past six months - but it kept "choking." Today I decided it WOULD be running my the end of the day. I turned it on - then off - plugged and unplugged every cord in the back over and over - THEN after several hours .. IT WORKS .. and is running like a charm !! It is now set it up in the corner of the living room - for lack of a better place - on a functional yet unattractive metal stand I had. I will find some expensive fabric - I am thinking silk and - make a unique cover for the "computer stand."
My Project .......
COST: Nothing VALUE: Priceless

Ran to the store after being caught in the rain during a dog walk with Spike. I looked like a drowned critter. Some lady came up behind me and said "Can you read the date on this ?" It was my sister - we decided to meet up later. I went to her house around 8PM - I delivered a bag of new unopened anti-aging creams. I left her house at 9:30P with a big head of broccoli and a bag of lettuce.

End of Day One of my three day weekend.

Welcome ... and your name is?

Spike as a new little brother. Most of my animals have come with a name and I never felt right changing them .. so I didn't. Hence there was Fuzzball, Princess, Swampcat, and Spike.

I will be fielding ideas for a name for this new little Ragdoll kitten, who will be a part of our life, hopefully for years to come.

Welcome Little One .. July 1, 2009.