Tomorrow .. a big step

Despite my brazen exterior, I WORRY what people think of me. We have all been told that people "like us for who we are." But who are we kidding? Even the best of friends have the 'sidebar' conversations that we all know about: "Did you see her ...?" "OMG! Did you notice her ...?" "What do you think about her...?"

Yup .. I worry about those conversations. But tomorrow is a new day and I intend to test the waters.

I am talking about me, my home. The reflection of who I am. Or is it?

Someone is coming to my home tomorrow. A fastidious 'neatnik' .. And THIS time ... I will not stay up all night obsessing about dust on the ceiling fans, the basket of dirty laundry in the laundry room, miscellaneous tossings in the garage and the coup de grâce .... my sewing room.

Coup de grâce: often used figuratively to describe the last of a series of events which brings about the end of some entity; can also refer to the final destruction of an already sinking ship.

BUT WILL IT BE THE END? The end of what ?

I rather doubt it.

Tomorrow will be different. My friend, the fastidious neatnik. My friend who I adore. Please see me for the person I am. Overlook the weeds in the flowerbeds; the dishes in the sink; the dust in the corners; and the sewing room has not one bare surface for all the fabric and half finished projects.





My friend ... think of me not as disorganized, but as the one who... loves laughter and would rather dress vodka bottles in blond wigs and fancy gowns; buys sunglasses and Visine to cure eyes blinded by yellow paint; makes gift baskets out of paint cans; sews capes for little boys so they "really can be" Spiderman; transforms a stray stack of photos into a nifty slideshow; buys Dunkin' Donuts gift cards so you are never without morning coffee; and as the friend * that friend, who, when your world is up-side-down * runs out for a steak with bleu cheese and a plate of "crisp" bacon .. because I long ONLY to see you smile.

My friend - too much time and energy and anger and hurt has been wasted on the unimportant. We shall cease to have the NEED to understand that which we may never.

I "WILL" whisk away the eggshells, so there is no need to ever tip-toe again. However, there may be dust, a basket of laundry or a mess in the garage.

BUT WILL IT BE THE END? The end of what ? Our friendship ?

I rather doubt it.





POSTSCRIPT: 9:40PM - Wednesday, June 24th: My fastidious neatnik friend came. Said "I cannot look at your sewing room!" But I am sure when I was away .. my sewing room was surveyed. And by all accounts .. we are still friends. And believe it or not ... I am comfortable that "I" have been exposed for the person I am.